


Hands to Hold Me

by LenaBrightRose



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aftercare, Asphyxiation, Breathplay, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Guilt, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Submission, Pining, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 21:11:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenaBrightRose/pseuds/LenaBrightRose
Summary: Tanaka has a hard time admitting defeat, especially when he knew his team had depended on him. The only way he can bury the guilt of failure is to just let everything go for a while and surrender power to someone else. There is one person and one alone who knows what he needs and can give it to him without qualm, and that person is Ennoshita Chikara.





	Hands to Hold Me

**Author's Note:**

> Just be warned, mah peeps, this is not a sexual fic, and is rated so merely for acts that can result in death when one is not careful. Play safe out there, and I'll see you on the flipside.

The click of Ennoshita’s fingers was sharp in the dim room, his eyes cool and tranquil as he gestured for Tanaka to come to him. The normally crazy #5 was quietly fuming, the half hour of kneeling on the floor having done very little to calm his nerves, and Enno knew he’d have to up the ante.  
  
Enno had been watching carefully during their game again Aoba Johsai, and had seen the war behind Tanaka’s eyes as every single shot he made was knocked down. When Ennoshita had subbed in when Ukai despaired of Tanaka’s abilities he had tapped on Tanaka’s shoulder to wordlessly tell him it wasn’t his fault, but Tanaka had pulled away and immediately flinched. He could pretend that it hadn’t happened, but he was terrible at lying. The meaningful look Enno gave him sent him back to the gym supply closet when everyone else had gone, still flushed and upset from the stinging defeat. Enno had been waiting for him, as he always did, and they didn’t exchange words as Tanaka sank to his knees and bent his head, folding his hands in his lap as Enno closed the door behind him. The position and silence normally helped Ryuunosuke’s head clear, but today all he could focus on was the game that was long since over. His teeth gritted, and he was still fuming as he got to his feet when Enno signaled him closer.  
  
Ennoshita felt like sighing; so today was a bad day. “On the bench,” he said coolly and Tanaka hopped up onto the cool plastic cushion without a word, letting Ennoshita push him down so he was lying flat on his back. Ennoshita swung himself up after, settling across Tanaka’s hips and trapping the other boy's hands underneath Enno’s powerful thighs. Tanaka wouldn’t move them if he wanted to get what he came for, and Ennoshita was more than prepared to give him that. It had taken a long time for Tanaka to come to terms with the fact that giving up power over himself was the only way to snap his focus back onto what mattered, and even longer to let Ennoshita hold his life and reputation in his hands while trusting him to use that power wisely. It had become easier to bear, and he greedily devoured the moments of clarity that Enno provided with his cool, sharp gaze and unforgiving hands. His lip warbled the tiniest bit as he struggled to maintain eye contact with the seemingly impassive boy on top of him.  
  
“Do you want this?” Enno asked, breaking the silence first with the question he asked every time. Tanaka didn’t have to think to answer as he nodded.  
  
“Yes,” he whispered, but still dreaded the next question.  
  
“What did you do wrong?” It wasn’t accusing, but that almost made it hurt more. His teeth were still clenched as he spoke, averting his eyes.  
  
“I let them block my spikes,” he hissed, knowing that that wasn’t the answer. Ennoshita’s hand was at his throat in a split second, placing immediate and intense pressure on his windpipe, cutting off air. Tanaka jolted, But Enno didn’t relent for a few more seconds, staring Ryuu down.  
  
“I won’t repeat myself,” he warned as he let up. Tanaka sucked in a breath, licking his lips. It took him a moment to think of a better answer.  
  
“I got rattled when they continually blocked me and when they got past blocks of my own,” he muttered and Enno’s lips thinned. It wasn’t the most satisfactory answer, but it would do. He gave a tiny nod as he put pressure back on Ryuunosuke’s throat.  
  
“Close enough.”Enno closed his hand around Tanaka’s throat, squeezing steadily tighter until Tanaka’s mouth fell open in a desperate bid for breath that wasn’t coming, and his back arched the tiniest bit despite knowing that Enno would never hurt him. Ennoshita stared down at Tanaka impassively, counting down the seconds in his head as Tanaka began to squirm under him. “You can go longer,” he stated firmly as Tanaka’s hips twisted. “Do you trust me, Ryuunosuke?” Tanaka immediately stilled, face growing red, but he knew he could always rap his knuckles against Ennoshita’s thigh and get out. Enno was always so good with his safeword. Enno nodded at Tanaka’s expected response. “Good. Look at me,” he commanded as he pressed the tiniest bit tighter, leaning down to stare directly into Tanaka’s eyes. “They blocked you because they can read you. You are brash and erratic, and when it comes to a team like Aoba Johsai you need to be smart. You let them see your weakness and get under your skin, and you paid the price for that. You did not trust me to take your place, though you hadn’t made a single point, and were so wrapped up in your head that coach Ukai couldn’t put you back in.” He saw that his words were hitting home as Ryuunosuke’s eyes started to water, and he counted down the last few seconds before easing his hand off of Tanaka’s throat. Tanaka took a shuddering breath as his windpipe was freed and a soft sob escaped his lips. Ennoshita slid off of him and helped Tanaka slide off of the bench and onto the pile of blankets he’d carefully arranged on the floor. Enno sank down, wrapping his arms and a blanket around his crying friend.  
  
He stroked Tanaka’s short hair as he curled around him, ignoring Ryuu’s fingers digging into his back as the normally strong and vicious player shattered in his hands. “Shh,” he soothed, rocking back and forth gently. “Shh, it’s alright. No one blames you, Ryuu, I promise. You did very well and I’m proud of you. I’m so, so proud of you and how far you’ve come. You just needed to calm down, didn’t you? You did so well. Don’t forget how lucky we are to have someone as amazing as you on our team.” He deepened his voice, letting his chest rumble as Ryuu cried into it. He really was proud of Tanaka, but that wasn’t what Tanaka had needed to calm down. Now that Enno had done all he could for Ryuu he satisfied his own needs and cuddled Tanaka close, knowing this was going to be the most he could do to sate his own desires.  
  
Enno cocooned Tanaka up and held on tightly until all of the tension flooded out of Ryuu and his tightly wound fingers loosened, his ragged breathing quieting into something tired but even. It was this silence that Enno didn’t enjoy; the time that Ryuunosuke gathered himself, rebuilding the carefully laid wall Enno had broken down and both of them struggling to find their feet again in an outside world with no acknowledgement of what had just happened. Tanaka carefully got to his feet, finding his jacket and pulling it on like armor. His eyes were still puffy and red but he was relaxed and adjusted the carefully constructed careless expression on his face. He turned to face Ennoshita and the expression wavered for just a moment before he bowed deeply. “Thank you, Chikara,” he said softly and Enno gave him a smile, waving it off.  
  
“Go on, you’ll be late for your dinner,” he said fondly as Tanaka bowed out and finally got to his feet himself, cleaning up the small mess they’d made. The room felt cold and empty, the way it was supposed to, and Enno felt assured that it would spill no secrets. He mindlessly played with the fantasy of what would happen if someone found out what did happen behind closed supply closet doors, but quickly dismissed the idea. Tanaka would be absolutely ruined, and Ennoshita knew better than anyone that while what he and Tanaka had was physical it was certainly not sexual. He had to protect Tanaka if he wanted to preserve the quiet moments with him that Ennoshita so craved. Perhaps one day Enno would kiss Tanaka, and perhaps he would kiss back, but Ennoshita let the thought settle into the undisturbed floodwaters in the back of his mind as he erased any sign of what had taken place in the real world. He might never pluck up the courage to go further than he already had, but Enno let himself feel a little satisfaction knowing that as long as Tanaka needed volleyball he would need Ennoshita as well.


End file.
